5 side effects and solutions to phubbing

 

Ok first let me tell you the funny story of how I came to know about the term “phubbing” in the first place. It’s very random:))

 

I was once having lunch in Galleries Lafayette food court in Dubai Mall, and there was a lady sat alone on the table next to me. Eventually she started having a conversation (they were quite loud and obviously I could hear them) with the table next to her (they were a bunch of teenagers with their mother). So this woman started telling about the term “phubbing”, that it’s a term coined by the Australian dictionary. I didn’t mean to be nosy, but me being the forever learner that I am, I got super curious, started digging and I fell in love:)

 

So that’s how it all started, weird, I know, but a seriously useful term!

 

Phubbing is the act of snubbing the one next to you by using your phone, instead of being present with them.

 

Phubbing is without a doubt virtual world’s current addiction, as well as phone addiction itself. 

 

This is a real issue of our modern age and whether you like it or not we have all been phubbed and have phubbed others at some point. In fact, many people do it all the time. 

 

It’s become almost entirely normal within the younger generation but still affects the older generations and women more than men (according to research). I have been guilty of this myself, I definitely knew I am being by being so obsessively in my phone but I have certainly become more conscious of this issue and do my best to leave my phone aside and give my full attention to those next to me. I have also been around people who phub a lot which was definitely very annoying to me at the time.

 

 

So here is what you need to know about phubbing: 

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    1.Hurts our mental health. Studies show that phubbing threatens our four fundamental needs- belongingness, self-esteem, meaningful existence and control by making the          ones phubbed feel excluded and ignored. 

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    2.Makes us feel less connected. Studies have shown that phubbing makes face to face interactions less meaningful. Even the mere presence of a phone without anyone              using it has shown to be enough to make people feel less connected. 

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    3.Effects relationships. Research shows that couples who phub each other, are more likely to experience depression and lower marital satisfaction. “If your partner is on           the phone, that means that they are prioritising something else over your in those moments of togetherness and that hurts 

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    4.Hurts our reputation. Extreme phone users are seen as less polite and as poorer conversationalists. 

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    5.The phubber gets affected too. Research has shown that people who used their phones while eating with friends or family said that they enjoyed their meals less and felt          more distracted and less engaged than those who didn’t. 

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Solutions: 

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We have all been there, done that and felt it too. However just like any other negative habit in life, this too can be switched and solved.

 

   1. Create and follow a strict tech rule. Such as putting your phone away during eating and when around friends and family who are having conversations with you so you           can be fully present with them and also feel more engaged. 

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   2. Smile and show others that you care. Of course, there might be times that you really have some work to do, you have to check a notification, send an email, pick a call         or whatever. You can go ahead and apologise with a soft smile to the one (s) you are with, saying that you really need to check your phone and that you will shortly get             back to them with your full attention and presence.

 

   3. Practice meditation and mindfulness. Take many deep breaths during the day and try to spend more time in nature. Make sure you pay attention to the other tasks that            you have going on. If you are having food, really focus on the taste of the food and how grateful you are to be able to have food.

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   4. Practice patience and compassion. If you are being phubbed, practice patience, compassion and don’t take offense, because they are the ones following an impulse and          they don’t know any better.  

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   5.See a professional practitioner in the field. Phubbing or phone addictions will most probably have important underlying factors that need to be addressed and solved. A         therapist, life coach can help you further, find out the root cause of this problem and replace them with healthy positive habits instead.

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Personally, using all the above steps, I feel so much better as oppose to feeling guilty for ignoring them and appearing rude in the past, I feel so much more present in my life and with those around me, I pay attention to them and listen more attentively. So, now that you are aware too which is the most important step, you can utilise these steps too to do something about it instead of being a victim and suffering.

 

Your coach

Kiana

x

 

P.s if you want to discuss further and get help on this matter, you can reach me by filling in the below .

 

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